What if the paths not taken haunt us more than the choices we make? Liz Lochhead's poignant poem, "The Choosing," delves into the subtle yet seismic impact of early decisions, exploring how seemingly insignificant choices can irrevocably shape the course of a life. Through the contrasting trajectories of two childhood friends, the poem examines themes of social class, education, and the elusive nature of contentment. We are drawn into a world where shared beginnings diverge into vastly different realities. Childhood innocence gives way to adult introspection as the speaker reflects on the diverging paths, one leading to the hallowed halls of academia, the other to the fulfilling embrace of family and motherhood. The poem subtly questions societal expectations, probing at the inherent value we place on different life choices and subtly challenges us to examine our own definitions of success and happiness. Is a life of intellectual pursuit inherently more valuable than a life centered around domesticity and connection? The undercurrent of envy and longing adds a layer of emotional complexity, prompting readers to consider the invisible forces that shape our destinies. It is an exploration of unspoken desires and the quiet ache of wondering "what if?" that resonates with anyone who has ever questioned the roads they've traveled. This verse serves as a powerful reminder that the choices, both conscious and unconscious, define us, and the lives we build may not always align with the dreams we once held, leaving us to grapple with the haunting echo of roads not taken and the bittersweet reality of "The Choosing." Explore the powerful themes of lost friendship, childhood memories, and the divergence of destinies in this evocative work that captures the essence of female experience and societal expectations.
“The Choosing”
“The Choosing”, by Liz Lochhead, depicts the importance and consequences of ones choices, being made actively or passively in early ages of ones life. In the specific case of the poem, a description of the development of two girls’ similar childhoods into completely distinct lives as women takes place.
Remembering their joint childhood, there is a variety of things the speaker of the poem thinks of: Back in their childhood, the two girls were quite equal in anything they did, for instance in their appearance, behaviour, efforts in school, housing, and competing. They even were best friends (compare: first two stanzas). In a way both of them were congenial, just like most children have their fitting counterparts as well. However, they already battled for “the top desk” (line 11) and a certain dread and respect for each other was grown (line 14/15). Nevertheless, their parents had different notions about money and education (compare: line 22/23, line 27-30) , resulting in a separation from each other and , finally, fairly different lives. At the present the speaker seems to envy Mary’s life, because Mary has got what one would call a life. Mary is pregnant and, obviously, she has a husband who cares about her and gives her ample attention. “Her arms are round the full-shaped vase that is her body.” (line 38/39) indicates the speaker’s admiration for the pristine fact of life in Mary’s womb. The beauty of nature and of Mary fascinate her. “Not that I envy her, really.” (line 42) ironically manifests that the speaker would like to have Mary’s life. Instead, however, the existence of the speaker is built around studying and the library, which is expressed with the repetition of “And I’m coming from the library”(line 32 and 43). Where the “And” of the second sentence emphasizes the speaker’s “library life” even more. Those lives weren’t really chosen by themselves. The key decisions were made by their parents, when the two girls were still younger (“and wonder when the choices got made we don’t remember making” line 46/47). Moreover, the divergences in the development of the two girls’ lives can also be seen in the tone of the poem. Whereas the first part rather playfully depicts their childhood and their common memories; the second part - starting with “Ten years later” (line 31) - sadly describes the present situation. In the first segment, everything is still callow and it seems to be like a normal and carefree childhood for both of the girls, until Mary moves away. The second piece of the poem contains a sad voice, describing the sad life of the speaker (library=education), probably chosen for a carreer, and envying Mary for her normal and happy life.
Furthermore, symbols portray the two different girls and their specific lives. Though having “the same colored ribbons” and “equal shyness” (first stanza) and being “best friends” (line 7) when they still were children, the similarity and equalness of childhood days is gone. Now Mary has got “a full shaped vase that is her body” (line 38/39) and a wonderful husband. All the speaker can come up with is the library. In a bigger context one could mean to see Mary having a joyful, normal live, and the speaker studys in order to get a good job and a carrer. Two completely different notions about life, as different as the two women are. Which one is better?
“The choosing” as headline of the poem sort of reflects the entire theme of it. The written text is all about choosing, important decisions, and the right picks in life. The headline and the last line of the poem form a frame, entombing all the meaning of the word “Choosing”. As a child you can’t make important choices on your own, so that your parents do that for you. You go the predicted way and do as you are expected. Later on in your life, attitudes might change and you might become a different personality. Then you may realize that you would have preferred another way of living, but that it wasn’t in your power to decide over it. Now you just would like to have a happy life. This is what happened to the speaker of “The Choosing”.
If Mary and the speaker would start a conversation, they might talk about old times.
Frequently asked questions
What is "The Choosing" by Liz Lochhead about?
"The Choosing" explores the impact of choices, both active and passive, made early in life. It depicts the diverging paths of two girls who shared a similar childhood, highlighting how their lives evolve into distinct adult experiences.
What are the key themes in "The Choosing"?
Key themes include the significance of choices, the influence of parental decisions on children's lives, the contrast between different life paths (career versus family), the potential for envy and regret, and the sense of being shaped by circumstances rather than making independent choices.
How were the girls similar in their childhood?
In their childhood, the girls were similar in appearance, behavior, academic performance, living situations, and competitiveness. They were even best friends. The poem suggests they were well-matched companions.
What factors led to the separation and different lives of the girls?
Differing parental views on money and education played a crucial role in their separation. These contrasting perspectives resulted in different opportunities and ultimately, divergent life paths.
How does the speaker feel about Mary's life?
The speaker seems to envy Mary's life, particularly Mary's pregnancy and apparent domestic happiness. The speaker's admiration is evident despite her ironic claim that she doesn't envy Mary.
What does the library symbolize in the poem?
The library symbolizes the speaker's academic pursuits and career-oriented life, contrasting with Mary's more traditional, family-centered existence. The repetition of "And I'm coming from the library" emphasizes the speaker's dedication to her studies.
What does the phrase "when the choices got made we don’t remember making" mean?
This phrase emphasizes the idea that significant life decisions were made for the girls at a young age, likely by their parents, before they had the capacity to consciously choose their own paths. This highlights the theme of passive choice and the potential for later regret.
How does the tone of the poem change?
The poem's tone shifts from a playful depiction of the girls' shared childhood memories to a more somber reflection on their present circumstances. The first part is lighthearted, while the second part, beginning with "Ten years later," conveys a sense of sadness and envy.
What do the symbols in the poem represent?
Symbols like "the same colored ribbons" and "equal shyness" represent the girls' shared childhood experiences and initial similarities. In contrast, "a full shaped vase that is her body" symbolizes Mary's fertility and fulfillment, while the library represents the speaker's intellectual pursuits.
What is the significance of the poem's title, "The Choosing"?
The title, "The Choosing," reflects the central theme of choices and their consequences. It highlights the idea that life is shaped by decisions, whether consciously made or passively accepted, and that these choices can have a lasting impact on one's happiness and fulfillment.
What does the last line of the poem mean?
The last line of the poem reiterates the central theme: that life choices are often made early in life, often without full awareness of the implications. Later in life, one may feel that one's current path was predetermined and unavailable to decide over at an early age, as there are attitudes that might change.
- Quote paper
- Sebastian Arnoldt (Author), 2001, Lochhead, Liz - The Choosing, Munich, GRIN Verlag, https://www.grin.com/document/104755
